Beneath The Stain by Amy Lane

In a town as small as Tyson, CA, everybody knew the four brothers with the four different fathers-- and their penchant for making good music when they weren't getting into trouble. For Mackey Sanders, playing in Outbreak Monkey with his brothers and their friends—especially Grant Adams--made Tyson bearable. But Grant has plans for getting Mackey and the Sanders boys out of Tyson, even if that means staying behind. 

Between the heartbreak of leaving Grant and the terrifying, glamorous life of rock stardom, Mackey is adrift and sinking fast. When he's hit rock bottom, Trav Ford shows up, courtesy of their record company and a producer who wants to see what Mackey can do if he doesn't flame out first. But cleaning up his act means coming clean about Grant, and that's not easy to do or say. Mackey might make it with Trav's help--but Trav's not sure he's going to survive falling in love with Mackey. 

Mackey James Sanders comes with a whole lot of messy, painful baggage, and law-and-order Trav doesn't do messy or painful. And just when Trav thinks they may have mastered every demon in Mackey's past, the biggest, baddest demon of all comes knocking.

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I really have no idea how to do this book justice with a review. Amy Lane has outdone herself with this one.

I can't recommend this book enough. Honestly everyone has to read this, they need to go through the pain that this beautiful story causes.

Every character in this story will steal a place in your heart. When they are suffering - it's an Amy Lane book, they will suffer - you will want to pull them into a loving embrace and give them the comfort and protection they need. You'll want to knock out the characters that are causing them pain.

One character deals with cancer in this book and Ms Lane does a wonderful job of that. It is so realistic and anyone who has watched a loved one suffer through this terrible illness will be right back there beside that loved ones hospital bed.

This book with all its pain and angst will tear you apart, but it's love and beauty will glue you back together again.


View all my reviews

Ethan in Gold (Johnnies #3) by Amy Lane

Ethan in Gold by Amy Lane
My rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Evan Costa learned from a very early age that there was no such thing as unconditional love and that it was better to settle for what you could get instead of expecting the world to give you what you need. As Ethan, porn model for Johnnies, he gets exactly what he wants—comradeship and physical contact on trade—and he is perfectly satisfied with that. He’s sure of it.

Jonah Stevens has spent most of his adult life helping to care for his sister and trying to keep his beleaguered family from fraying at the edges. He’s had very little time to work on his confidence or his body for that matter. When Jonah meets Ethan, he doesn’t see the hurt child or the shamelessly slutty porn star. He sees a funny, sexy, confident man who—against the odds—seems to like Jonah in spite of his very ordinary, but difficult, life.

Sensing a kindred spirit and a common interest, Ethan thinks a platonic friendship with Jonah won’t violate his fair trade rules of sex and touch, but Jonah has different ideas. Ethan’s pretty sure his choice of jobs has stripped away all hope of a real relationship, but Jonah wants the whole package—the sexy man, the vulnerable boy, the charming companion who works so hard to make other people happy. Jonah wants to prove that underneath the damage Ethan has lived with all his life, he’s still gold with promise and the ability to love.

~Review~

Another fabulous Amy Lane book. More adorable, broken guys who steal a little corner of your heart. Since we have met Ethan in the previous books we know he seems to crave hugs and touch. Well this is his story and we get to understand where that all stems from.
Jonah is a more stable character compared to all the other Johnnies characters, even though he has had a tough life those issues haven't a broken him, if anything they have made him stronger. I hope we get more from the Johnnies. Maybe it's time Bobby or even John gets a book.

“... I mean, I'm not going to spare your feelings, Dad - I wanted to be his frickin' chocolate bunny today, but, really he popped a couple of jelly beans and said, 'This isn't right' and walked away. I mean, I think he was starving for chocolate bunny - but he walked away. Who does that?” ~ Jonah.

~Purchase Links~

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Amazon AU

View all my reviews

Dex in Blue (Johnnies #2) by Amy Lane

Dex in Blue by Amy Lane
My rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Ten years ago David Worral had plans to go to college and the potential for a beautiful future in front of him. One tragic accident later, he fled to California and reinvented himself as Dex, top porn model of Johnnies.

Dex’s life is a tangled mess now, but the guys he works with only see the man who makes them believe even porn stars can lead normal lives. When Kane, one of Dex’s coworkers, gets kicked out of his house, the least Dex can do is give him a place to stay. Kane may be a hyperactive muscle-bound psycho, but he’s also a really nice guy. What could be the harm?

Except nothing is simple—not sex, not love, and not the goofy kid with the big dick and bigger heart who moves his life into Dex’s guest room. When they start negotiating fractured pasts and broken friends, Dex wonders if Kane’s honest nature can untangle the sadness that stalled his once-promising future. With Kane by his side, Dex just might be able to reclaim the boy he once was—and if he can do that, he can give Kane the home and the family he deserves.

~ Review ~

Ms Lane, you do realise that is mean. To do that at the end. It's a good job I love your characters enough to forgive you. ;)
The opening scene of this book was sad, I started crying at 4%. The previous book Chase in Shadow was a painful book to read, I became so emotionally involved in Chase's story, I need led breaks while reading it. When I started crying at 4% in this one I thought it was going to be another tough one. Thankfully it wasn't as hard as Chase. It was a little easier on the heart, it still had pain and angst, I have come to learn that it isn't an Amy Lane book if it doesn't have Pain and Angst.
Dex was a lovely character, he was a fixer. But a fixer can never fix themselves.. That's where Kane came in, he may be simple and a bossy too but he could be what Dex needed, if they would both realise.

“We’ll fix it in the morning, sweetheart. You can’t save the world after 1:00 a.m. Not even you.” 

~ Purchase link ~

Amazon US

Amazon UK 

Amazon AU

View all my reviews

Chase in Shadow (Johnnies #1) by Amy Lane

Chase in Shadow by Amy Lane
My rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future. 

Nobody knows the real Chase.

Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster. 

Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay—where the number of lovers doesn’t matter as long as the come-shot’s good—but if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed.

“God. No wonder it was so easy. He’s been bleeding since he was a baby. He just never told anyone. How do you even know it hurts after all that time?” Because you loved me, and I knew what it meant to feel.”

~Review~

Wow, this book was amazing. Can i give it 6 stars? I have never felt so much pain when reading a book. I was totally invested in these characters lives. Tommy and Chase suffered in this book, and I suffered right along side them.
I started this book a while ago, but wasn't in the right frame of mind to get through it. I only managed a few pages. I picked it up again yesterday and thought 'I will finish it this time'. I had to put it down a few times during the last two days, because it just hurt to keep reading, I needed the break. My soul needed the break. But I loved it, so much. The breaks helped me saviour it too.


View all my reviews

Christmas Kitsch by Amy Lane

Christmas Kitsch by Amy Lane
My rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Sometimes the best thing you can get for Christmas is knowing what you really want.

Rusty Baker is a blond, rich, entitled football player in a high school full of them—just the type of oblivious jock all the bullied kids hate. And he might have stayed that way, except he develops a friendship with out-and-proud Oliver Campbell from the wrong side of the tracks. Rusty thinks the friendship is just pity—Oliver is very bright, and Rusty is very not—but then Oliver kisses him goodbye when Rusty leaves for college, and Rusty is forced to rethink everything he knows about himself.

But even Rusty’s newfound awareness can’t help him survive a semester at Berkeley. He returns home for Thanksgiving break clinging to the one thing he knows to be true: Oliver Campbell is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Rusty’s parents disagree, and Rusty finds himself homeless for the holidays. Oliver may not have much money, but he’s got something Rusty has never known: true family. With their help and Oliver’s love, Rusty comes to realize that he may have failed college, but he’ll pass real life with flying rainbow colors.

~ Review ~

I say it every time I finish an Amy Lane book, she writes the most adorable men that tug at your heart strings.. God I love her men.
This story was full of pain and love, like all Ms Lane books, the pain may hurt you as you read, but the love fixes you right back up.


View all my reviews

Behind the Curtain by Amy Lane

Behind the Curtain by Amy Lane
My rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Dawson Barnes recognizes his world is very small and very charmed. Running his community college theater like a petty god, he and his best friend, Benji know they'll succeed as stage techs after graduation. His father adores him, Benji would die for him, and Dawson never doubted the safety net of his family, even when life hit him below the belt.

But nothing prepared him for falling on Jared Emory's head.

Aloof dance superstar Jared is a sweet, vulnerable man and Dawson's life suits him like a fitted ballet slipper. They forge a long-distance romance from their love of the theater and the magic of Denny's. At first it's perfect: Dawson gets periodic visits and nookie from a gorgeous man who “gets” him—and Jared gets respite from the ultra-competitive world of dancing that almost consumed him.
That is until Jared shows up sick and desperate and Dawson finally sees the distance between them concealed painful things Jared kept inside. If he doesn’t grow up—and fast—his "superstar" might not survive his own weaknesses. That would be a shame, because the real, fragile Jared that Dawson sees behind the curtain is the person he can see spending his life with.

“When I sleep with someone, I need it to mean something. I need to know someone would look me in the eye and be there the next day, and the next week, and the next month. I’m not stupid—I know it doesn’t always mean forever, but you have to at least think it could be forever. There’s a possibility of forever before you even touch, or you’re just touching to hurt yourself. I can’t be just a quick fuck in the bathroom.” 

~ Review~

Amy Lane books never disappoint. Her characters are so well written, so full, they feel like real people.. Hell they are real people. Dawson was hilarious and adorable. Jared made your heartbreak for him. Together they are perfect. This was another fabulous story that had me so engrossed, I couldn't put it down until I reached the end.

View all my reviews